Aasiya Jeelani – My lady icon

20^th April 2004 is a day I would never ever forget in my life. It still has those fresh memories of what made me remember this day for ever. I even now memorize as if all that had happened yesterday. Having qualified the entrance test for admission in mass communication department in University Of Kashmir, I was really feeling at the top of the world. It was Wednesday, 21^st of April 2004. I went to the university to complete the admission formalities. The rush of blood was fast and my pulses kept racing. It was really a dream come true.

As soon as I reached the office the atmosphere there was somehow repelling. I was just feeling like running away from there. But I had no option but to be there to complete the formalities. Every person is that office had a look of sadness on his face; all of them were appearing out of their senses. I could hardly figure out anything. A faculty member came inside the office; tears were rolling out on her cheeks. Wiping tears with one hand and trying to hold herself with the other, she was telling everyone to leave. I was not able to make anything out of it.

Then suddenly I could hear someone whisper the same “aasiya” which somehow clicked my mind. I paused for a minute, speechless and even motionless thinking where did I hear that name. Then I realized she is the girl, a social activist who was martyred in a mine blast on 20^th April. What I didn’t know that she was an alumni of this very department which I was going to join. I really did not knew how to react as I stood there watching all the faces.

The clerk told me to wait for an hour as all of the staff was leaving to attend the fateha at Aasiya’s place. So I went out and sat on a bench quietly. Suddenly the joy and happiness on my face turned into grief and gloom. My mind started questioning –Is this the first thing I expected to hear before joining the department? Am I going to be a part of this huge populace whose aasiya was a part? Am I going to line in a queue where aasiya stood first? Is that our destiny and fate? The whole surrounding appeared toxic to me, my eyes went totally blind and I could perceive nothing. The pace of mind asking questions became faster and faster. I was not able to understand what was happening.

So much disturbed by all this I decided to go back home. I thought even not to fill up any form for the admission. I feel like driven back by all this. As I started to leave, a voice suddenly came to me, “where are you going?” I looked around but saw no one. “Who you are, I asked.” After a small pause the voice replied, “I am the girl you were thinking about. I am Aasiya, the reason for you to quit this course.” I became conscious and somewhat confused as well. I never wanted to put blame on someone’s shoulder for any of my decision. Then the voice became louder and louder. All I could remember is:

“Hello boy, how are you. You are you running away from one of the cruel and the truest fact of life. Everybody does not have the same destiny and it is not always that you sail in the same boat. Have courage to be a part of the thing you are running away from. If I as a girl didn’t backed up why would you?”

Suddenly the voice disappeared and I woke up from a lull sleep. It contemplated it was nothing but my inner self talking to me. Without giving a second thought, I went to the office to complete all the formalities for the admission. Returning home I was thinking, and still I am, who was speaking to me? The question might be vague but all I could remember was ‘Aasiya’. I never met her nor have I ever seen her, but the example she set is for the generations to come.

There would hardly be a single day when I don’t remember her. The date of 20^th April is something I can never fail to remember and for bad as well as god reasons too. At least I will love to live a life of hers’.