Incorrect Understanding Of Words Is Injurious To Health

There are instances in our lives when a very common incident can look extraordinary. It usually happens when we take the literal meaning of words. People who are working, or who have worked or want to work, all need a job. The first step for that is getting a call from a recruiter which is the first step of your working career. And 98% of the recruiters are girls; I must say girls girls everywhere

Have you ever really gone by the words recruiters use, I bet never. Let me take you to the conversation of a candidate who attends the recruiters call for the first time in his life. It is hilarious and reader discretion is required, may have some mature stuff. So, guys here we go:

Recruiter: Good Morning Sir. Is it the right time to talk to you?
Aspirant: Sure, why not?

This is the instance when he feels blessed that a girl wants to talk to him. He always ran after so many to chat with them but without any fortune. He apprehends that completing degree can also change fate. Now, he is on the top of the world.

Recruiter: Sir, we have an opening.
Aspirant: Great, even I am looking for one.

The guy in on cloud 9, he never expected a girl would be so fast to come directly to the main point. He cannot believe this and now, he is more certain.

Recruiter: It is an immediate requirement.
Aspirant: Oh, I can see that.

He feels the girl is really desperate and it is finally his day. Now, he starts imagining and he cannot prevent that.

Recruiter: Can you please brush me through your experience?
Aspirant: Well, errrrrr…………. I am a fresher.

The aspirant doesn’t desire to take any risk. He wants it make it absolutely sure that he doesn’t lie. He does not want the girl to anticipate something from him which he is not capable of. He has learnt to be true, no matter what occurs.

Recruiter: No problem sir, we have opening for freshers only. Can you tell me how immediately you can join, I mean the notice period.
Aspirant: Within a week, no such issues.

The guy wants a week to prepare himself for the important event. He has believed in doing his homework always and he cannot just be blindfolded with his principles.

Recruiter: Can you come down for a personal interview.
Aspirant: Anytime you call me, I am free.

The guy gets conscious now, he realizes that he has to prove himself to make this happen. He is a little anxious and worried currently.

Recruiter: Ok sir, what is the package that you demand. Remember that we can negotiate on that.
Aspirant: What do you mean by that, I think I don’t fit in your category?

The guy is hurt; he feels he has been treated like a plaything. He never thought of people paying for this, he considers of himself as a slave. He is fuming and incensed.

Recruiter: Perfectly fine sir, can you refer some of your friends.
Aspirant: What the hell do you think; I don’t know anyone and you must know it.

The guy cannot see his friends taking this chance. He would rather die than let his friends go for it. He is adamant and says, “If not me, then no one.”

Recruiter: Thank you Sir, It was nice talking to you. Have a great day
Aspirant: Bye (with a loud anguish tone)

He felt hurt that night and blamed it all on the changing society that leads girls and guys to behave like this.

But now, after a few years he laughs at himself and doesn’t miss the opportunity to share it with everyone he knows. I must say ‘guts’ man.

According to Mamkol, “Explain what you imply by right, I might amply it as write”.

The Delightful Knowledge Management

Knowledge Management (KM) is a method that, constantly and analytically, transmits knowledge from individuals and teams, who create them, to the brain of the organization for the benefit of the entire organization. It is the orderly, clear, and purposeful construction, renewal, and appliance of knowledge to take full advantage of an enterprise's knowledge-related efficiency and returns from its knowledge assets.

Let us understand this with the help of an example:

There was an engineer who had an extraordinary gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he contentedly retired.

Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many issues with the same machine in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark: $1
Knowing where to put it: $49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.

Had every troubleshooting been documented, such a story would have never occurred. This is the occasion when KM becomes more than just handy.

KM includes a variety of applications used by organizations to classify, create, represent, and dispense knowledge. Many large companies have resources dedicated to Knowledge Management, often as a part of 'Information Technology' or 'Human Resource Management' departments. Knowledge Management is a multi-billion dollar world wide market.

Knowledge Management programs are characteristically attached to organizational objectives such as enhanced performance, competitive benefit, innovation, developmental processes, lessons learnt transfer (for example between projects) and the general expansion of collaborative practices.

Benefits from KM to a company

Some benefits of KM link directly to bottom-line savings while others are more complicated. In today's information-driven economy, companies expose the most prospects and eventually gain the most value from intellectual rather than physical assets. To get the most value from a company's intellectual assets, KM practitioners maintain that knowledge must be shared and serve as the basis for collaboration.

Without an overarching business context, KM is worthless at best and harmful at worst. Accordingly, an effective KM program should help a company do one or more of the following:

• Promote innovation by encouraging the free flow of ideas
• Improve client service by reorganization response time
• Enhance revenues by taking products and services to market faster
• Increase employee retention rates by recognizing the value of employees' knowledge and rewarding them for it
• Streamline operations and reduce costs by eliminating redundant or unnecessary processes

A KM project can most probably be successful if it concentrates on an actual business target or specific spot, like improving teamwork in order to bring a product to market faster than the opposition.

According to Mamkol, “Share everything you have gone through, it can help you and your people to avoid doing the similar mistakes.”

Very General Knowledge Quiz

All the answers are based on responses from the people in age group of 17-23 from major metropolitan cities in India. Believe me, the answers revealed some amazing stories.

Question 1: Who is India's Vice President (M Hamid Ansari)?

Answer: We got all the answers except the right one. Some went close to Pratiba Patil and A P J Adbul Kalam. Even a few infantile guys asked if India really has a Vice President. They presumed that it was a joke and I am someone from MTV doing a ‘BAKRA’ show. The ‘BAKRA’ is more famous than our Vice President, cheers India.

Question 2: Name one player from Indian Hockey team that won eight gold Olympic medals (we all know Dhyan Chand at least).

Answer: Half of them believe it was KPS Gill, 20% don’t know whether hockey really won Olympic gold, 15% went with some freedom fighter and the rest had shocking names like Amol Palekar and Utpal Dutt.

There was one ‘intellectual look’ type guy who said it was a revolt from India against British’s game of cricket. Well thought mate, but we needed this during freedom struggle I presume. Born in wrong era!

Question 3: What is the national flower of India (lotus)?

Answer: As our youth is quite romantic, they unanimously went with the rose. But, the discrepancy was the color. Some felt it must be white rose as it portrays peace, other with red as love and the rest with yellow rose (I wonder what yellow denotes).

There was a couple who argued over the question although both of them replied as ‘rose’ only. The girl felt that it was lotus and had been changed because it is the symbol of BJP but the guy was adamant that it was always rose. All I can say is “what a rouse”.

Question 4: What do you know about ‘nuclear deal’?

Answer: Different responses ranging from awful to sickening ones. Few youngsters feel that it is a deal that allows India to set up a nuclear plant and make weapons. Other went with the view that it allows India to bomb Pakistan anytime and the some felt it was a plot by US to establish a base in India. A little better this time.

But, listen to some more answers. A dude said it was a huge loan to be taken from US for making nuclear weapons as India has no money and that is why it has become an issue. He even suggested taking the loan from UK as the British have already lived in India and they know how to deal with us. Nice suggestion, I hope the authorities are listening.

Another juvenile termed it as ‘Pakistan’s Policy’. She believed that the Pakistan wants to enter India through US as Pakistan is already a member of nuclear deal. The sweetheart related it with terrorism, bloodshed and what not. Really concerned about the nation, you better read some GK books and then answer.

This was the best one among the whole lot. This blonde guy named it ‘invention of the century’. He explained that to me very clearly. Here are his words, “It is the use of nucleus of cells to make anything. By signing this, even we will have the power to make produce anything in this world, weapons, clones and what not. The only issue is that people don’t understand it”. Shut your ears guys, he is the most horrible one I found.

Question 5: What made India reach news headlines in 2007?

Answer: The answers were quite different from the young guns. Some went with cricket, some with beauty pageant, a few with bollywood and a good lot with growing fashion industry. And there was a handful lot who believed poverty, Kashmir conflict and nuclear deal making it famous.

But, we had a gentleman (a graduate from Bihar) who had an altogether different opinion. He firmly believed that it was Rakhi Sawant’s reality shows and the little guy ‘Prince’ who fell in a deep hole made India famous in 2007.

One more, beauty without brains, lady considered India’s heritage, culture and the smell of soil as the reason. I was not able to understand what that means but still I am putting it here, may be you guys can make out something.

Nevertheless, there were a few questions whose answers were given appropriately. Some of them are:

• Who went out of Roadies (MTV) in third week and who all voted against the person?
• Who are Deepika Pudkone and Saif Ali Khan dating these days?
• What are social utility websites?
• When and where did wardrobe malfunctioning happened last time?
• What are the eight teams participating in IPL twenty twenty?
• Who are Naomi Campbell and Leonardo Dicaprio?
• What is the latest trend in fashion and bollywood?

So, my people you know this Orkut, MTV, V and Facebook yo-yo generation knows nothing more than a fragment. Wake up guys, Ye Hai Hindustan Meri Jaan

According to Mamkol, “India’s young generation is a burger-pizza sandwich stuffed with rajma dal. You know where the reality lies”.

Grown Up For What

Yesterday I had a dream in which I spoke to my childhood. We had a good long dialogue about almost the whole lot happening in life. He dominated the chat all the way around and I was helpless because whatever he said was nothing but the truth.

It reminded me of the childhood years when I had all the freedom in this world, to do anything and everything but now I am a man surrounded by the boundaries of responsibilities, relations, aims, desires and expectations.

As a child, my mind was blank, naive and free from the distinctions of right and wrong. I used to do what I though and it was all out of purity. Times have changed now and I have developed as a mature person driven by materialistic desires which seem never-ending. I consider a lot prior to doing anything and that is why I hardly do a bit.

My childhood takes me back to the days when I needed a mom’s lap and dad’s shouting to sense that I belong to some one who exercise their right over me. That was a regular schedule for me. But nowadays, I have grown into a gentleman who needs nobody to live. I can manage things on my own. I used to hate my people asking me if I had food or if I was in good health but now, I don’t need anyone because there is no one close to me.

I remember that one day all the cousins went out for a lunch with our families. All of us ordered for chicken noodles. Only me and my brother got half plate noodles as we were too young too eat a full plate. I was furious and had I got money that time, I would have ordered one complete plate for each of us. I felt terrible and upset and promised to myself that the day I have money I will do that. I prayed to GOD to send me loads of money and HE did that but after some time

So, now I have money but my brother is not here. Even we hardly get enough time together. Both of us are busy in our lives, making our future (I wonder what future is that). How foolish was it to ask GOD for money that time. Had I asked for more time being a child with my people, I would not have regretted like today.

I always wanted to grow to possess big brains, bigger money with biggest of the responsibilities but now, I realize how brainless I was. No matter how stronger a figure I show, I still want my people to live with, I am all alone inside.

Childhood days were worriless; I scarcely had concern for something and lived in my own world. But now, I am out of it and existing in the authentic filthy world. I have to be bothered about every little I do and see if does not affect anything unconstructively.

Whenever I miss those days, it always brings tears to my dry eyes. Nowadays, I don’t fight with my brother for clothes, cassettes, food, cold drinks or TV anymore. We do not shout at each other nor complain to mom and dad. We do not get a good thrashing from our parents for different reasons. We cannot play the games we used to because we have grown up, not anymore kids. Everything has changed and so are we. But, this is not at all what I always wanted.

I am myself to blame for this because I always wanted to grow up. Now, I am grown up to be left wandering for something which I myself don’t know.

According to Mamkol, “Children are innocent and that is why they want to grow up”.

Jab I Met Mr. Hockey

I had a privilege to meet a very well-known personality few days back. It was none other than India’s national game Mr. Hockey. Here is how our remarkable conversation went.

Me: Hello Sir, I guess I have seen you somewhere before.
Mr. Hockey: Definitely, must be in Shahrukh Khan’s ‘Chak De’. People have started recognizing me after that only.

Me: It is really glad to meet the national game of the country.
Mr. Hockey: Great that you stroked a chord, I actually do not remember that at all.

Me: Tell me something about yourself.
Mr. Hockey: Past perfect, future tense. Presently, I am in the waiting list of endangered sports in India. But still, you can see me at a number of places like grounds, streets, on newspapers, in the news. I am absent but not deceased; you can call it ‘dying’.

Me: What do you believe are the reasons for it?
Mr. Hockey: The huge amount of love, enthusiasm and money (capital majorly) that other games, especially Cricket, acquire have sidelined me. I also have a federation but for namesake; nothing is done for the endorsement, promotion or encouragement of the sport. It is a miserable circumstance that the game that has won eight gold Olympic medals (unbeaten from 1928 to 1956) for India has not been able to even qualify the tournament this time.

Me: Why do you sense that your popularity is vanishing?
Mr. Hockey: You need a high-quality infrastructure, capital, promotion and a guaranteed future for the players to survive in any game. The whole lot is absent in my case. It is good to see people taking cricket as a career but hockey still remains as a hobby. The entire blame is on the authorities. Even the people who are attracted in hockey are being discouraged, which makes other people also go away from it. Hockey has brought pride to India more than cricket and had legends too but it is unfortunate that everything has been forgotten.

Me: Where do you see yourself going?
Mr. Hockey: Undoubtedly to history books. I am soon going to be a ‘saga’ for the country for which I was a national game once upon a time. To be embedded in writings only.

Me: Any suggestions from your side.
Mr. Hockey: A lot of them. Make Cricket the national game, stop making fun of me by using my name as a national game. Implement a ban on playing hockey at national level; let it be confined to towns and cities only. No need to waste the ‘little’ money also you spend on the game. It can be utilized in a better way for other games. Observe 9 March (On 9 March 2008 India lost 2-0 to Britain at Santiago, Chile and got eliminated from the Beijing Olympics) as National Hockey Day to mourn the historic game and pay your tribute to the primitive game.

Me: I am privileged to have met you.
Mr. Hockey: Same here. We might not meet ever again but do pray for the soul. I should take a leave now; have to shoot a scene for an upcoming bollywood flick in Australia. That is where my future lies.

According to Mamkol, “Nation does not remember the national game, let us again blame cricket as always”.