Thursday, 10 July 2008

Kashmir Terminology

Of late there have been a lot of terms that have become quiet common in usage. But there meanings have been determined by the conditions prevailing in the valley. This is just an endeavor to uncover such terms.

Hartal: Lawful justification for not going to workplace

Protest: Shouting so loudly that your voice strike the walls of offices of concerned authorities

Identity Cards: Lifeline of a Kashmiri

Crackdown: Where you are down and your bones cracked

Blast: Minimizing the minority of Kashmiris

Road Map: Exactly a map but without signs and symbols

26th January & 15th August: Monstrous days

Cross Firing: Easiest way of suicide

Surrender: Get a gun, give it back and own a job

Round Table Conference: Where the center is ambiguity

Dialogue: One-way communication

Peace Process: Hypothetical concept

Cease Fire: Shoot limited number of bullets

Custodial Killings: Natural death

Search Operations: Employ five laborers for a week to get things again in place

Boycott: Cannot catch it, so we are not with it

Leader: Every 10th person on the street

Government: Does it exist?

Election: In-house joke

Laws, Rules & Regulations: In books only

Tear Gas: It is always ‘in’

Stone Pelting: Oldest and most economic way

Lating Position: So that you don’t become Mr. late

Fidayeens: Omnipresent

Cordon: Surround everything else than the place you have to attack

Freedom: Whose & how

Press Conference: He got no one else to talk to / dying to speak

Media: Avenues of revenue

Human Rights Violations: Twice a day

Curfew: Prehistoric but relevant

Militant: Terrorist & Mujahid would be too extreme

Bunker: Next-door neighbor

Third Party: Optional party of Kashmiris

LOC: Out Of Control

According to Mamkol, “Do you know that terminology is not a word but a complete election – T(ERM END) + E(LECTION) + R(EGIONAL) M(EGER) + I(NC HEADS) + NO(LEFT) + LO(SP) + G(8Summit) + Y(ES TO IAEA) – next elections”.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just don't understand that even after experiencing all this daily for some 20 years, how am i able to laugh on it.
Anyways, keep it up and thanks for making me laugh for a while and reminding me all of it.

Unknown said...

Well done sir, really original. This piece gives me a fainted picture of how the Kashmir has been reacting to the different situations prevailing. I laughed at times and couldn’t understand a few things too. But, thanks again.

Unknown said...

It reminded me of the time when I was posted in Kashmir although militancy was no so prevalent. I asked a guy to stop, keep his hands up and not move, the next thing he said was, “sir I am quite used to hands in air and in frozen frame. I guess you are new here. You simply could have said stop and the rest follows automatically. It has been a default setting here for days”. I just laughed and let him go that very moment.

Unknown said...

It needs a good eye for observation to put things across and this article has that. Although not though provoking, it certainly jogged my memory – back to my home Kashmir.

Invisible said...

something right from kashmir and valid only to kashmir. I shall appreciate you on how unknowingly u have managed to pass it across as a joke...great wits!