Options To Death – The Only Choice

I wake up in the morning to realize that all the essential food items in my home are over and there is not a single grain of food left to eat. My 2 year old son is asking for milk, my wife is silent because she knows about the things but my old mother is unaware and is shouting and asking for her morning tea.

I stand still like a rock not knowing what to do but I leave my home to see if I will be able to do something. Nothing is accessible outside and the money lies wasted in my pocket. The first step out of my house and I get a beating from the policeman standing just outside my home. Not a single word is uttered but the beating continues but I somehow manage to escape from there and reach the main road. All shops closed, a deserted look and the feeling of pain surround me. Before I can even get a good look of where I stand, an army man comes charging to me. He beats he with the back of his gun until I bleed and tells me to go back before he opens fire on me. But those words have no effect on me and I just laugh.

That laugh boils the temperature of the army men and they all start beating me in all the possible ways they can. They throw me from one corner of the road to another and all that comes to me is the face of my 2 year old son who is starving for food, my old mother who cannot survive without food and my helpless but silent wife.

They don’t allow me to say anything and push me back into the lane where the earlier policeman is waiting for his turn to try his beating skills which he showcases perfectly. And finally I am pushed back into my house. Seeing my face, my wife cries out loudly but my son is silent. I do not know what to do and I have nothing to do.

I take out my entire family in my car and move out of the house. Policemen try to stop me but I don’t, they fire but I cannot afford to stop. Bullets everywhere but I have no option. As I reach near the army banker, they shoot a grenade and next thing I hear is a big bang.

No more worries now, everything is silent. No need for milk, food or anything else. I can see my mother, my wife and my two year old kid resting for ever. They are no more and so am I.

But before I take the last breath, I just wanted to see their faces once again but I cannot because the next grenade stopped me from even doing that. We all had to die, either by every passing day or in one go – these were the only options left here. But still, I love my land and I am not ashamed of what I did – this was my only option.

This is my story and this is my Kashmir. Welcome one and all . . .

According to Mamkol, “Life always has a connotation, let us give death also a meaning”.